One of the hardest roles of adult children is putting the brakes on elderly parents’ activities once it’s apparent they can no longer manage. Part of the problem is that this role reversal is inherently uncomfortable for both the parent and the adult child.
But you are not doing them any favors by sticking your head in the sand and ignoring the growing gulf between what they want to attempt and what they can safely manage. Read on for more information.
Prioritize your concerns
Telling an older parent that they need to be confined to a nursing home is never going to go over well. For one, they might not even need that level of care. Are you concerned because you feel that they should not be driving? Stick to that issue alone. You may learn after taking a short drive with them at the wheel that they are fine driving short jaunts to familiar places during daylight hours. Not convinced? Don’t escalate the scope of restrictions.
Allow them as many choices as possible
Ask your parents what their plan is for aging. You may be surprised to learn that they have one. If not, it’s time to make one. Would they be able to age in place with a few modifications to the home, or would they benefit more from assisted living?
Remember that you can’t solve the problem unless you ask the right questions.
The right to self-determination
Barring outright incapacitation, people retain the right to determine the trajectory of their lives. Taking this away from elderly parents is needlessly cruel. If you are still struggling, you may want to loop in an estate planning professional who has experience with elder law issues.
